Still in Remission?

Greetings all!!

I realize that it has been a little over a year since I posted so I guess I wasn't very good at keeping things updated. I do apologize for that and I will try and do another quick catch up.

I made it the whole way through chemo and successfully beat my brain tumor!! YEAH!!!!

On the same day that I got the news, we found out that mom has breast cancer. I mean literally... the same day. Boo!! She has since had surgery and is currently finishing up chemo treatments (she only has 2 left!!) then she has a month off before starting radiation.

I have been taking care of mom and trying to improve on myself. Cancer had left me weak and that isn't a word I ever want to use to describe myself. Therefore, I am trying to do what I can to change that fact. While I am still not "normal," I have made vast improvements over where I was at the end of cancer treatments. For example, I can now:

• Get around without a wheel chair
• Drive a car
• Go to the store by myself
• Clean most of the house
• Do most of the cooking (still don't like it though!)
• Stand up from the floor
• Change my clothes while standing (unless I'm wearing socks)
• Put most shoes on without sitting (especially in flip flop weather)
• Walk at a decent pace
• Walk a decent distance (no marathons in my immediate future, but I can walk a mile at a moderate pace)

And I improve a little bit everyday. I am walking and being more active in general and that is helping my overall well being. It is to the point that I am starting to feel like being a "normal" person again might just happen.

There is just one problem. Up until today all of my MRI's have confirmed that my cancer is gone and I am in remission. Today, I had a follow-up MRI and there was an anomaly. The radiologist stated that my MRI was clear and that I am still in remission. My oncologist does not quite agree.

Looking at the MRI there is a very slight change in the size of my tumor/scar tissue. It is a very small difference and while I am not trained to read an MRI, I did have trouble seeing the difference between today and last October. It is quite possible that this change is due to the MRI machine itself. I used a different machine than I have in the past and this one has a stronger magnet. That may account for the slight change. This machine was more powerful, felt different when I was getting it, and it reprogrammed my shunt (which past MRI's haven't done). This change is like looking at a TV show in SD then the same thing in HD. It is mostly the same but it is still different. Because of this, he is unsure if my tumor is growing or if it is just the difference I described above. My doctor is a wonderful and thorough doctor and would like to get more opinions on the subject. As a result, he is taking it to the tumor board on Monday to review it. If they agree with the radiologist, then I will just follow-up in July like they normally would and all is right with the world (at least for the next 3 months). If they agree that there has been a slight change, then I will need to go in for a PET scan to get more information.

Needless to say, I'm a bit worried. Please keep me in your prayers as this is weighing heavily on my mind. I have a feeling that I am not going to get much sleep waiting for the decision this week. I must admit that I was hoping he would just come in and say that I was still in remission. I feared that he would say that I wasn't. I never thought that he wouldn't be sure one way or the other. It doesn't help that this week I was having dreams that my test would say that my cancer was back and I would end up doing radiation at the same time as mom. While the doctor specifically said "no that won't happen" I still just have this feeling and I don't like it.

As you can see, I need a lot of prayer. Please pray not only for things to go well, but for me to fully give this worry to God and not be miserable about it for the next week while I obviously can't do anything about it.

Thank you all!